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Well, although I have never fallen in love at first sight, I dream
about it. Does that count? From what I hear, it's a bit like a celebrity
siting. It's that instant recognition, in this case, of "the other."
The heart speeds up, sweat forms on the upper lip, knees get weak,-injecting
you with a heavy dose of the love drug all at once. It happened
to my mother. She fell instantly in love with my father and knew
that she would marry him before she even heard his name. He, however,
was a bit slow on the uptake. It took him six months to even know
my mother was alive. My sister met her husband on an airplane. It
was that old "Is this seat taken?" scenario. They flew across the
ocean and by journey's end they were talking about the future. So
it's hard not to imagine that it could happen, since falling in
love at first sight seems to run in my family. But, I find it best
to just quietly believe and walk boldly into the unknown.
How do you meet someone to love?
Dear Square One,
Let me count the ways. First, you must announce publicly that you
want to meet someone. Tell your
friends and neighbors. Tell your coworkers. Tell your green
grocer. Let them get to work on making lists of people they want
you to meet. Then imagine aloud the person you want to meet. Walk
on the beach, in the woods, by a stream. Speak into the wind. Put
in your order. When the invitations start pouring in, don't turn
any of them down. Meet, meet, and meet again until you find what
you're looking for. But don't wait for the invitations. Get out
there. Attend lectures, wander around museums, take a class, join
a book club. Who asks the best questions? Who has the greatest smile?
Who makes you laugh? Who gives you a ride home? This could be a
someone who you might love. Leave your options open though. Keep
meeting and talking and learning. Live your life. Love someone along
the way.
I work 15 to 18 hours a day. How can I possibly date? I am either
on the subway or in the office or in bed.
A dilemma
for sure. Do you want to date? Sounds as if you might be a bit disdainful
of the whole concept. What about weekends? Do you work on the weekends?
Hmmmmmm. Can you trim your working hours a bit? Perhaps if you didn't
call it dating, you might be more open to the idea. Just spend a
tiny bit of time with someone you enjoy. Maybe it's someone you
already know. Maybe it's someone you'll meet at work. Maybe it's
someone you'll meet on the subway. Maybe it's someone you'll be
surprised to meet in bed.
More Q&A's From Coleman
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