First, be creative. Don't become the victim of routine. Spice up your relationship by trying different positions or places to have sex, like the bathtub, the floor…or even the hallway.

Don't underestimate oral sex either, especially as you grow older. It will help stimulate your husband and can lubricate wives during their middle years and beyond.

Keep in mind that what turns you on, however, often depends on whether you're male or female. For men, it's usually something concrete, like a new sexual position or erotic nightie. Few things will bring a man greater joy than being in bed with a wild and adventuresome woman.

In order to be the seductress, however, you'll need to be warmed up considerably beforehand. Tell your partner what you need. Do it positively and early, before you become resentful.

If men hunger for variety, women typically long for romance, emotional connection, and slow, prolonged foreplay. Creative sex begins long before you hit the bedroom door. Women need to feel loved before they can feel sexy.

*excerpted with permission from the Brodys' book, Renew Your Marriage at Midlife, G. P. Putnam's Sons/Penguin Putnam Inc., copyright © 1999 by Steve Brody and Cathy Brody

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Resources

Love at Midlife: Building and Rebuilding Relationships by Richard A. Osing

Sensual Rejuvenation: Maintaining Sexual Vigor Through Midlife and Beyond (Natural Pleasures Series) by Judith Sachs, Lynn Sonberg, Dell Publishing, 1999.

150 Most-Asked Questions About Midlife Sex, Love, and Intimacy: What Women and Their Partners Really Want to Know by Ruth S. Jacobowitz

The 50 Year Dash: The Feelings, Foibles and Fears of Being Half a Century Old by Bob Greene (Doubleday Books)

Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman, Ph.D., and Nan Rivers (Three Rivers Press)

Have fitness and fun with your mate ... on a bike!

Shower her with flowers!

Plan out your health regiment together!

Enliven your intimacy with tantric sex.

Entice her with a little tea for two.