Think back to how much time and effort you put into wooing your spouse when you first met. You went the extra mile to impress your partner, and it worked.

The bottom line here is that if you want your relationship to work, you have to work at it and make it a priority.

Put sex in your schedule, for instance. If that sounds too regimented, consider that when you courted, you set aside time to go on dates together, didn't you?

If you put one-fourth the energy into romance and seduction that you did when you dated, the effort and communication alone will serve as powerful aphrodisiacs.

*Excerpted with permission from the Brodys' book, Renew Your Marriage at Midlife, G. P. Putnam's Sons/Penguin Putnam Inc., copyright © 1999 by Steve Brody and Cathy Brody

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Resources

Love at Midlife: Building and Rebuilding Relationships by Richard A. Osing

Sensual Rejuvenation: Maintaining Sexual Vigor Through Midlife and Beyond (Natural Pleasures Series) by Judith Sachs, Lynn Sonberg, Dell Publishing, 1999.

150 Most-Asked Questions About Midlife Sex, Love, and Intimacy: What Women and Their Partners Really Want to Know by Ruth S. Jacobowitz

The 50 Year Dash: The Feelings, Foibles and Fears of Being Half a Century Old by Bob Greene (Doubleday Books)

Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman, Ph.D., and Nan Rivers (Three Rivers Press)

Have fitness and fun with your mate ... on a bike!

Shower her with flowers!

Plan out your health regiment together!

Enliven your intimacy with tantric sex.

Entice her with a little tea for two.